Pure White

Too much of something is never a good thing, wouldn't you think? I don't know, but first getting a call from mom and then one from dad kind of freaks me out. I hear nothing from them for months, and then both of them in one day. It's not even as if they wanted to tell me anything important. Mom was all... Well, she was being herself I guess, going on about my sisters and asked if I've found myself a cute girlfriend yet and things like that. Dad was all... Dad. I don't think it's possible to ever talk with me without criticizing just about everything I do, everything that I am. As long as he's happy. ~Nfu~

I think Kisarazu's performance lately have been good, however I feel he has some kind of rage that is driving him. I happen upon him quite a lot during our late night swims. All things considered though, I can't say I blame him. Nakamura from 3-4 had been absent lately. Rumor has it he's been in an accident. I wonder if that's true...

Oh well. I'm going to go see if I can find Yuuta. Chances are he's down in the canteen...

Summer's slowly approaching and the team's doing pretty well even though there are some strange things going on, obviously. Kisarazu is going to become a big brother and he seems a little unsettled about the entire matter. Well, he got his things together for the game yesterday and that's all that mattered. We met the Seigaku boys' team, and I must say they were a disappointment. With the girls' team being as good as it is, one would expect the boys' team to be on par with them, but apparently not. Of course it was all my wonderful scenarios doing but still. A straight win. Good work, everyone, even you, Nomura. Even if you could have performed even better of course, you need to develop more or you'll never make a big name out of yourself.

I haven't been able to get some time alone with Yuuta in quite some time, and I can't say I approve. I want to see him more, in private. Talking with him and training with him calms me down in a strange sort of way, if you can call raging hormones being calm, but I will call it that. ~Nfu~

To celebrate our victory I went out and did a little shopping spree~ I bought myself a new pair of pants, two new shirts, one sweater and one summer jacket. Also bought some jewelry and an eyeliner. All in all a good day, all though I would have preferred to do the shopping together with someone else, strangely enough no one seemed very interested in going. ~Nfu~

Just keep the good work up and we'll win this.

Yanagisawa looked like a truck hit him today at practice. Not pretty. Really, people would think someone as ugly as him could at least have the good grace to stay home when sporting a black eye like that? Common courtesy. Not to mention it looks bad for the school if our students go around getting into fights. Really now. And Kisarazu seemed less than pleasant as well. I wonder what's up with them... Well, not my business. I've come to realize I shouldn't meddle in other people's business because apparently I can't ever say the right things. Well, that's interesting to know at least.

It is slightly annoying when you try and try and try to edit something and it just doesn't want to cooperate. I've tried to make a certain part of my last post private for I don't know how long, but it just won't work. I am slightly irritated by that, yes. Maybe I'll try and contact the staff about it? Or maybe it's just not worth it, I don't really know. Ah well...

I think there are some things people our age shouldn't have to deal with. Violence, poodle hairdos, too much responsibilities, death, or the possibility of being made aware of your own mortality, James Dean's bad acting skills, and a lot of other things. And what brought this up? Well... Things have been happening in the female part of the tennis world, as I'm fairly sure a lot of you have noticed. It's a shame that these sort of things happen to people our own age, hm? Being stabbed, getting pregnant, getting sick... And all one can do is watch from the sidelines and give empty words that one's oh so sorry that things like that happen. Because... What else can one do?

And the sad thing is that everyone has their problems. I do, Yuuta does, Kisarazu... I'm sure even Yanagisawa has some sort of problem, even if it might be a really small problem it still counts, right? When you think about it like that, it's a strife to just make it through the day, let alone life, but some people find the strength to do just that each and every day anyway. People with much greater problems that I'd ever have, like I know of this man who misses both his legs and a couple of fingers on each hand, and he's in constant pain. Still he works very hard, has two jobs and brings joy to people just by being himself and sharing his strength with other. I admire people like that.

I also admire people who are willing to give up a comfortable life to go and help those who aren't as lucky as they are, who are selfless and strong and giving. I am none of that, I'm afraid. I could never say that I love him or him so much that I can completely overlook my own needs and tend to this or that person 100%. Maybe... But I'd like to do a lot for Yuuta, yes. If he'd let me...

I've come to realize that I actually enjoy late night swims. I happened to go for one with Kisarazu and it was actually quite satisfying, so I've gone to the pool a couple of nights now, and I do think it makes wonders for my stamina. I think I will prompt for making swimming a part of practice for those who wish to do so. If my data don't fail me, I think Nomura isn't a very strong swimmer, correct?

I got a parcel in the mail today. It's from one of my sisters and it contained a book, and not just any book. Jane Eyre. I've wanted to read it for quite some time now, and she actually managed to get a hold of it in English. I've already read the first chapter, and I must say I enjoy it quite a lot.

I miss my purple flower shirt. Yanagisawa, I know you took it and really. That's a no-no, you can't take other people's belongings like that. You're lucky I didn't report you, because believe me... I came very close to doing so. I liked that shirt. Nfu~

( Was supposed to be private, but he forgot to make it so. )

Ah, it's good to be back in school, however, spending time with Yuuta and his family was quite an experience. His mother is quite lovely, all though very much a girl, but she complimented my hair and my clothes, so she is all right. Shizuka-chan was moody and not very friendly at first, but then she softened up, which was quite scary indeed. I wonder what's up with that. Fuji-san seemed like an intelligent, friendly man, and quite handsome to boot. I can see where Yuuta gets his good looks. ^_~

( private )